HC Chapter 34: I Don’t Love You (IV)
“Dong Ci, I want to ask you about something. Please, open the gates and let me in, okay?”
Throughout the university years, the relationship between Dong Ci and her classmates was stagnant, and only Sun Meng Meng was slightly friendlier with her. During the few obligatory events at the university, only she was willing to group up with Dong Ci.
“Madam, it’s too cold outside. You should head back,” Sally interrupted, suggestively winking at Aunt Zhang as she tried to pull Dong Ci away. But Dong Ci was rooted to her spot, with no intention of going anywhere. Instead, she instructed the guard to open the side door.
“Madam, Mr. Jing was very particular when he ordered us to not allow you to meet strangers.”
“I am not a stranger, I am a college classmate and we are familiar!” Sun Meng Meng anxiously refuted. She was afraid that Dong Ci would listen to them and leave, so she stretched out her hand through the iron bars and tried to grab her sleeve, but Sally caught it.
“Let her in.”
Sally, who has always been calm and steady, showed such a flustered expression today. This made Dong Ci feel both curious and suspicious. She ignored the two women who were blocking her path and walked to the side door, directly opening it.
She was also curious about what her fellow university alumnus had to say that she acted so desperately this time. After all, Dong Ci hasn’t been in contact with any of her former classmates in the past few years, and she really couldn’t figure out what Sun Meng Meng came here for. However, before she could ask, Sun Meng Meng rushed in, grabbed her hand, and pleaded:
“Dong Ci, we are former classmates. I am begging you, persuade Jing Rong to spare my family, alright?”
“…”
If it wasn’t because Little Wolf rushed out to the gate today, perhaps Dong Ci would have never found out how many people came to find her after she married Jing Rong.
“Dong Ci, I know that Jing Rong loves you very much. So I hope that you will help me to persuade him not to take my company away, alright?”
Disregarding Sally’s obvious disapproval, Dong Ci led Sun Meng Meng into the villa. But she still had no idea why the other woman came to find her.
“I have never cared about his company, so why are you looking for me to settle this matter?”
Sun Meng Meng frowned and hesitantly explained, “My dad likes gambling. He borrowed some money from Jing Rong and still hasn’t paid it back. Now the interest has increased several times because of his inability to return it, and the sum that has to be returned is sky-high.
“My dad won’t be able to repay this amount even if he saves every dime for the rest of his life. As such, Jing Rong asked my dad to pay him back with the company. But the blood and tears that went into it belong to several generations of our family! If it is handed over to Jing Rong, we will have nothing left!”
Dong Ci felt her mind go blank as she listened to Sun Meng Meng. Finally, she tentatively asked, “What you are trying to say is… Jing Rong gives out illegal loans?”
“Didn’t you know about it?” Sun Meng Meng doubtfully asked. “Didn’t you borrow money from him when your mother had debt?”
“How do you know about my mother’s matters? And how do you know that it is Jing Rong who lend the money?” Dong Ci immediately asked. She felt as though a net was about to enclose her from all sides. Her world was spinning with possibilities that this information has provided.
Dong Ci suddenly remembered that Jing Rong had once reassured her that the loan sharks who demanded money from her mother had nothing to do with him!
Was he lying to her?
Why did she assume that he was telling the truth, anyway?
“The reason my dad could borrow the money in the first place, was because he had some contact with Xiao Wang, who works under Jing Rong and is in charge of the loans. When I was in high school, I often visited your mother’s restaurant to eat, and I observed that your mother had contact with that Xiao Wang…”
Away from Dong Ci’s sight, Sun Meng Meng was tightly clenching her palms. She looked at Dong Ci, whose face was white as paper, and her eyes darkened. Then she cautiously asked: “Dong Ci, is it possible that you didn’t know about this?”
“Know?” Dong Ci quietly repeated, looking as though she lost a soul. She closed her eyes for a moment, her breath slightly quickening, “If I had known about this, I wouldn’t be sitting here today.”
…
‘As far as I know, your family situation doesn’t seem to be good.’
‘Is it any of your business?’
‘Maybe you will beg me to make it my business later.’
…
‘I think that if auntie renovates the shop, the business will be better.’
‘The business if just getting started, and it’s not necessary to lose money. Auntie doesn’t dare to casually renovate. I want to wait for the business to stabilize a bit.’
‘Auntie, I have a cousin. He has a lot of experience in operating restaurants. If aunt trusts me, I can introduce him to you.’
…
‘Xiao Ci, don’t you think that the shop that I and your father designed is artistic and beautiful? At that time, we made it according to our imagination. I didn’t expect that after such a long time, the sketches could still be used. In Xiao Wang’s words, it is going to be a revolutionary shop!’
‘Mom, who is Xiao Wang?’
‘Xiao Wang is your mother’s friend. He is very good at managing restaurants and knows a lot about the catering industry. Speaking of which, your mother’s business can be so prosperous now because he helped me a lot.’
…
‘Did you pass my mother to a loan shark and make sure that she was cheated? What the hell have you done, answer me!’
‘Xiao Ci, I will be sad if you think so badly of me.’
‘Think badly of you… Then how did you know that my family owes a loan shark half a million yuan?’
‘Are you questioning me? Xiao Ci, you have to understand – only I can help you.’
…
‘The reason my dad could borrow the money in the first place, was because he had some contact with Xiao Wang, who works under Jing Rong and is in charge of the loans. When I was in high school, I often visited your mother’s restaurant to eat, and I observed that your mother had contact with that Xiao Wang…’
‘Dong Ci, is it possible that you didn’t know about this?’
“…”
The bits and pieces of past conversations suddenly surged in her mind, and the doubts that accumulated over a long time were suddenly resolved.
It was no wonder that Jing Rong said those words at the very beginning of their relationship. Turns out, he was the one to plan all of this. From the very start, he drew such a large plan around her – and the most frightening thing was that she didn’t notice anything to the end. What she knew, it was because others informed her at their own initiative!
Dong Ci recalled the exact words she used when she asked Jing Rong about his involvement in her mother’s abduction. Suddenly, she found that Jing Rong never directly answered her questions.
She was stupid enough to be deceived by Jing Rong with just a few indirect words. Although she was emotional at the time, she should have still thought about it later, when she calmed down! How could she accept everything he threw her way so easily?
When Jing Rong entered the room, a teacup suddenly flew his way. He hurriedly dodged it, but the bodyguard behind him wasn’t so quick.
“Jing Rong, you have been lying to me!”
Since childhood, Dong Ci has never been as angry as she was today. She fiercely swept all of the things that were placed on the table to the ground, randomly grabbed something, and threw it at him.
Jing Rong had never seen her eyes so bright when they were directed at him, but the hatred inside them was overwhelming.
For a moment, he was so stunned that he forgot to dodge. And as a teacup slammed into him, it made a muffled noise and fell to the ground, splashing into pieces.
“Do you hate me?”
It appeared as though he didn’t feel any pain from the impact. His gaze was directed at Dong Ci, and his eyes were so deep and obscure, as though they were full of ink.
“I hate you! I hate you to death! I hate that I was stupid enough to be deceived by you, and I hate my mother for not being able to see through your plans!”
Suddenly, Dong Ci showed a startled expression. She seemed to have thought of something because her eyes, which were hatefully staring at Jing Rong, widened as tears rolled out of them.
“The person who framed my mother was supposedly caught by you. Later, you said that my mother was sick. Then you started threatening me with this incident…”
Dong Ci shook her head, whether in disbelief or denial and staggered back a few steps. Her legs softened and she fell to the ground on her knees. “This means… Does it mean that my mother’s illness is also a part of your grand masterplan? You have been deceiving me from start to finish…
“Jing Rong, you are so cruel…”
“Everything I did was just to get you,” Jing Rong coldly answered. Now that everything was out in the open, there was nothing left to hide. He stepped on the debris on the ground and approached her step by step. “I gave you many opportunities to choose from. You forced me to do this.”
“You think you can do all of this and I will stay with you?” Dong Ci slapped Jing Rong’s hand that was about to touch her, and coldly exclaimed: “Jing Rong, I want to divorce you!”
“Divorce?” He repeated incredulously. Then he slowly squatted in front of her, staring at her through the eyelashes. “Xiao Ci, you shouldn’t quarrel with me. This time, I will act as though I haven’t heard this sentence.”
“I am not quarreling with you – I want a divorce. Not only do I want a divorce, but I also want to stay far away from you. I want to take my mother away from here. If I can, I hope that I will never see you again in my life!”
The words that she shouted out were full of the intention to hurt – the deeper, the better. It was even more painful than stabbing Jing Rong with a knife.
But such drama, it wasn’t the first time he heard it. Only, before those words came from another woman.
A look of confusion passed through Jing Rong’s eyes. He found that at the moment, Dong Ci’s expression was very similar to Qiao Qiao – they were both desperate and full of hatred.
“Did you know, Xiao Ci? Qiao Qiao said those words before,” he said with a hoarse voice. His big palm rose to gently stroke Dong Ci’s tear-stained face and he slowly wiped the wet tracks. “But what was the result? She still couldn’t escape my father. So… you are not an exception – I won’t let you go. You can’t go. You can only stay with me in this lifetime.”
When he said this, Jing Rong’s eyes suddenly softened. A gentle smile appeared on his face – it was pure and beautiful. But his eyes, they were dark and dull – seemingly trying to pull one into the abyss. Looking at them, it was impossible to escape from the darkness.
After all, they expressed his essence – paranoia, indifference, dedication, and sinfulness.
Dong Ci was ill, and in the past few days, she dreamed of Jing Rong’s dark eyes countless times. They were so good-looking, but they made her feel suffocated even in her sleep. And even after waking up, she was still trapped in a beautiful cage she couldn’t escape.
When she woke up once again, the room was covered in darkness. Dong Ci has never been afraid of the dark until a few days ago – these new emotions made her feel depressed.
“Dong Ci, are you torturing me or yourself?”
In the room’s darkest corner, Jing Rong’s tired figure was leaning against the backrest of the sofa. His long eyelashes were covering his eyes, casting a shadow over his face. Even his voice was low and cold as it penetrated through the darkness. Dong Ci was unable to discern his emotions at this time.
“Let me go.” Her voice was quiet due to hoarseness. She coughed several times, feeling tortured by the dry and painful throat. That day, she was so agitated that the next day she caught a serious cold. Her body was already rather unhealthy, and now she was even more sickly and thin.
“As long as you stay with me, I can promise you anything.”
“But the only thing I want is to leave you! I don’t want anything else!”
Dong Ci no longer dared to analyze the past. Every time he appeared in front of her, it was another trap. Recalling it again would only make it more painful to her.
The room suddenly fell into silence. Dong Ci pretended not to feel the cold atmosphere as she muttered, “You are so vicious that I can’t imagine the depths of your maliciousness. I just want to be an ordinary person. My only dream is to fulfill my father’s goals. I want to work hard and make money to buy a small house, where I can live with my mother…”
Those words consumed too much of her energy. Dong Ci felt her eyes getting heavier, and in a daze, she smelled the scent of sandalwood.
Before she fell into unconsciousness, Dong Ci whispered:
“Jing Rong, just let me go, alright?”
This was the first time that Jing Rong felt so helpless and weak. He watched Dong Ci as she went downstairs with her suitcase. His figure was stiff as he sat on the windowsill, motionless.
“Ever since I was young, no one has taught me what is right and what is wrong.” Jing Rong stroked the Buddhist beads on his wrist – he never took them off. As though talking to himself, he continued, “My mother has never been responsible for me as a mother should be, so I never called her by this title. Just like my father, I always called her Qiao Qiao.
“She once told me that if I meet someone I like in the future, I must treat that girl well. True affection won’t come at the cost of hurting the one you love. So she gave me the prayer beads in the hope that I would be kind.”
Dong Ci’s figure paused, the gears of the suitcase stopping in their slide. The room fell into silence.
“I didn’t understand her words before. After meeting you, I thought I understood, but then… I don’t seem to understand again.”
Jing Rong’s long eyelashes trembled. He shifted, using his body to block the wind incoming from the window. The white shirt swayed as cold currents hit his back, making him look fragile.
“Did you know, Xiao Ci? Qiao Qiao’s explanations contrasted a lot with what my father told me since I was very young: If you want to get something you like, you have to fight by all means. He also told me that my concession would only make me regret it, and the one that I love may be lost because of it. But I did everything he said, why is it that I still lost you?”
Jing Rong whispered, “Not only did I lose you, but I gained your hatred and strengthened my pain…”
He finally looked up.
He turned his head to look at Dong Ci, watching her with hollow and misty eyes.
“Xiao Ci, did I really do something wrong?” Jing Rong softly asked. “If I pursue you again the way that Qiao Qiao said, will you love me?”
“…”
Dong Ci didn’t answer him. The only sound that could be spared for him was one of the rolling gears of the suitcase as it gradually faded. That sound seemed to hit Jing Rong straight into his heart, causing him to have difficulty breathing due to sudden invisible pain.
Jing Rong stared at Dong Ci’s back without blinking. After her figure completely left his sight, he slowly retracted his gaze.
Taking a breath, his straight back seemed to suddenly lose strength as he lazily leaned against the window’s wall. Jing Rong raised his arm and put the back of his hand against his eyes, hiding the emotions in them. But the cold smile on his lips couldn’t be concealed.
He wouldn’t agree to the divorce, nor would he let Dong Ci leave him.
Sometimes, letting go for a short time doesn’t mean giving it up. All of his current actions – they are just to grasp her better in the future.
T/N: Almost 3000 words and we approached the turning point. This is just my opinion, but I think that Jing Rong’s thoughts at the end don’t mean that what he said to Dong Ci isn’t true. Though he is a character that’s hard to understand. That being said, there will be more of his background in the future 🙂
Zefelina's Translations 
Hi translator, thank you for the chapter!! I just picked this beautiful novel today, and I can’t stop myself from reading it.
I really liked this chapter as we’re given a glimpse as to why Jing Rong’s personality is so twisted and abnormal. Also, I’m glad that Dong Ci is still herself and didn’t totally lost all hope of “escaping” Jing Rong. My heart also clenched due to Jing Rong’s words when Dong Ci left 😭😭 I really do hope that JR will realize the “proper” way to pursue and love a person, and for Dong Ci to give him a chance. Although, realistically speaking it’s impossible since he really left her with traumas.
Again, thank you very much for this!! Please take care and remember to rest 😊😊💞
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