HC Chapter 35: I Don’t Love You (V)
After Dong Ci left, she remembered that she still had the wedding ring on her finger. She paused in her steps, raised her hand, and stared at it for a long time. Slowly, she pushed it up her finger.
Her fingers were slender, looking almost transparent in the daylight. After the ring was taken off, it exposed a small tattoo that was hidden behind it.
J : R
It was done after they got married – Jing Rong had found a person to do the tattoo on the root of her ring finger. At the time, his smile was very gentle. Afterward, he would constantly take off the ring and stroke the imprinted letters, reminding Dong Ci that she belongs to him.
When they got married, Dong Ci found out that this logo represented the Jing Family – though she didn’t know that it had a deeper meaning. For this small reason, she had difficulties getting a job after leaving Jing Rong.
After the two of them got married, her mother’s depression gradually improved. Now, under the care of a nurse, she was living at home.
When Dong Ci told her about the marriage, her mother couldn’t believe it. However, there was no way but to helplessly accept it – after all, her daughter was already someone else’s wife.
Under the constant care of the doctors and nurses, her depression almost disappeared, and the obsessions living in her heart also faded. Later, she reassured Dong Ci that she wanted nothing more but for her daughter to live a good life.
Even so, it’s been a while since the mother and daughter last saw each other.
Dong Ci quietly stood in front of the house with a suitcase in one hand while the other was tightly clenched. She stared up at the windows for a long time, and there was a constant struggle in her heart.
“Xiao Ci?”
Dong Ci was startled when she heard a voice full of surprise behind her. Her mother was standing a few steps away from her, with hands full of bags loaded with meat and vegetables.
“You finally remembered to come back to see your mom?” she joyfully exclaimed.
“I…” Dong Ci hesitated. She didn’t want her mother to worry, so she concealed her intention to separate from Jing Rong with a forceful smile. “I missed you, so I decided to come back to live with you for a few days.”
Her mother looked at the suitcase at the side and showed a small smile. However, soon she seemed to have perceived something because the light in her eyes suddenly dimmed – but she refrained from asking questions.
“Alright, since you came here with such a big suitcase, you can stay home for a bit longer. Mom will make a good meal for you.”
Her depression seemed to have been just a passing nightmare – right now, she looked the same as before, only a little thinner.
The two of them tacitly agreed not to mention Jing Rong as they headed inside. The mother and daughter, who seemed so close to one another, were hiding more than the other could imagine. At first, it was just a thin wall separating them, but it gradually grew bigger – until it couldn’t be easily pierced.
Dong Ci has always been a good student, and she didn’t slack off in the university too. After graduation, she was introduced to a workplace by a teacher and successfully entered a well-known clothing design studio. However, because she was busy with work, and often stayed overtime, Jing Rong started to have an idea of letting her resign. As such, after she fell ill, she was shut away at home to recuperate.
Now, Dong Ci was finally free. The day after she went home to her mother’s, she started searching for a new job. Unfortunately, after going to several studios for interviews, she got no replies.
At first, Dong Ci was confused – she had some work experience, and her recommendations were good, so what was the reason? The cause of her inability to find the job was discovered when she walked out of another company, after another interview, and met Shi Ze on the sidewalk.
“…”
How long has it been since they have seen each other? Dong Ci could no longer recall. After she and Jing Rong got married, Shi Ze tried to visit her several times, but Jing Rong kept on blocking them from seeing each other. After a few months of this, Jing Rong suddenly told her that Shi Ze was going abroad.
“Why is he going there?” Dong Ci asked with disbelief at the time.
“His university is participating in an exchange program with a famous foreign university – it so happened that the opportunity to go was given to him. Such a good opportunity, why not go?”
Dong Ci was silent for a moment, then she stubbornly exclaimed: “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it or not, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, I kindly informed you because his plane is leaving tonight.”
“…”
“Don’t you want to see your older brother for the last time? Don’t you want to ask why he is leaving without even saying goodbye? Xiao Ci, if you want me to take you to him, you can just ask me. But what am I getting in exchange?”
“…”
The memory of that day was a little fuzzy for Dong Ci. She only knew that she was pressed on the bed by Jing Rong and has done it with him several times – all to see Shi Ze before he went abroad.
When they finally rushed to the airport, the roads were congested. Dong Ci was leaning against the car window. Her eyes were full of tears as she was hugged by Jing Rong – he didn’t allow her to be alienated from him.
He deliberately chose the most congested road. When Dong Ci finally arrived, she only managed to see Shi Ze’s back from the distance. She panicked, and hurriedly called him:
“Shi Ze!”
Shi Ze did not look back.
He didn’t look back from beginning to end.
When Dong Ci watched his figure disappear, she avoided thinking whether he didn’t hear her, or just didn’t want to look at her. In the end, she couldn’t help but squat on the ground to cry.
This was the first time she was so wilful, but no one was there to indulge her.
Before her father passed away, Dong Ci used to be a spoiled girl. Her mentality didn’t start to grow up until her father was no longer there – back then, she forced herself to be sensible when facing the reality of life.
Now, she just wanted to be wilful this one time. She didn’t want to think why Shi Ze went abroad without telling her. She just wanted to come to the airport, and keep him from leaving. She didn’t want him to leave this city.
She didn’t want him to leave her.
You are the only family who is left beside me, why can’t you stay?
Even if you want to leave this place, don’t you want me any longer?
It was ridiculous that the news of Shi Ze’s departure came from Jing Rong’s mouth and not his own. Dong Ci’s tears kept on falling as she couldn’t help but helplessly cry in the crowded airport.
“Have you done this deliberately? Did you say something to Shi Ze? Why would he leave me for no reason?”
When Jing Rong walked over and picked her up into his arms, Dong Ci bit his shoulder. She weakly slapped his back, wanting to vent but unable to as her tears kept on falling with increasing momentum.
“Yes, I did it on purpose.”
At the time, Dong Ci’s vision was already blurred, and she couldn’t discern Jing Rong’s expression in the dimness of the car. She only heard a few cold words: “I want you to know that I am the only one by your side, and you can’t rely on anyone except me!”
“…”
Except for Jing Rong, she is not allowed to rely on anyone…
When Dong Ci thought back to this sentence, she couldn’t help but chuckle. What qualifications did he have to say this to her?
Among many people, Jing Rong is the only person she can’t rely on!
Even if she can’t rely on anyone else, she will just rely on herself.
The two of them noticed each other almost at the same time. Shi Ze was stunned when he lay his eyes on her. He stared at Dong Ci for a long time. After confirming that he wasn’t mistaken, he suddenly rushed to her with apparent joy in his eyes.
“You have already returned to China?” Dong Ci smiled at him. She wasn’t shocked to see him, but there was a little strangeness.
“Didn’t you know about my return?” Shi Ze saw her slight alienation, and his expression slightly changed. “I sent you a message after returning, but you never replied.”
“I haven’t received it.” Dong Ci paused slightly, having quickly realized the reason. She didn’t want to explain anything, so she just quietly added, “Sorry.”
“It has nothing to do with you.”
They haven’t seen each other for a few years. The more Shi Ze looked at her, the more moved he was. He softly smiled and tried to reach out with his hand to familiarly pat her hair, but refrained.
“How have you been all these years?” he asked instead.
Dong Ci reluctantly smiled. “Hopeful that from now on, life will only get better.”
The two of them were no longer young and immature. They sat down in a café and chatted for a while longer, though there were many awkward minutes of silence in-between. When Dong Ci was about to leave, Shi Ze suddenly stopped her.
“Xiao Ci, do you blame me?”
Dong Ci looked back and replied with a bitter smile: “I don’t.”
Does she have the right to blame him? Every person has the right to make their own choice. If Shi Ze wanted to go abroad to pursue his dreams, Dong Ci wouldn’t stand in his way.
Dong Ci could’ve taken the bus, but she chose to walk home on her feet. After seeing Shi Ze, she couldn’t calm her emotions, so she chose to take a walk to relax.
The distance of five stations wasn’t close, but it also wasn’t particularly far. However, because it wasn’t long since Dong Ci recovered from a serious illness – when she finally reached her house, her legs felt weak.
The sky was already dim as the sun was half-set, smudging the clouds in warm yellow and pink colors. Such beautiful scenery was particularly romantic if one took a stroll with a person they loved.
Dong Ci was aware of someone following her as she walked, and she even knew who that person was. But she refused to look back until she stood in front of her house.
“Xiao Ci.” Jing Rong couldn’t help it anymore. He sat in the car and intently stared at Dong Ci’s back, asking in a low voice: “Can you look at me?”
Dong Ci’s back was straight as her hands slowly clenched at the sides. She lightly replied, “I don’t like looking back.”
“…”
Dong Ci went home just like that. Since she came back to live with her mother, she enjoyed the good food her mother cooked, and the dependence the two of them were slowly beginning to recall.
It was a happy time.
Jing Rong slumped back in his seat and looked up at the bright windows. He stared at them for a long time, without even blinking his eyes. Then, he suddenly smiled.
His Xiao Ci was smart, and the last sentence she said was obviously to tell him that no matter how he tries to win her heart, she will not forgive him.
How should he proceed?
Jing Rong released a sigh. Although his eyes were not as sharp as they used to be, they looked a little cold.
Dong Ci’s work situation still wasn’t settled, and she started feeling a little anxious. Although her work experience wasn’t anything to brag about, she was still very competitive and shouldn’t have fallen into this situation.
In the past few days, Shi Ze often visited Dong Ci and her mother, and he sometimes stayed for dinner. Dong Ci couldn’t help but suspect that he was trying to deliberately approach her.
“Have you found a job yet?”
When Dong Ci was sending Shi Ze away, he called her down and pointed at the tattoo on her finger, lightly explaining: “I may know the reason why you encountered some difficulties.”
Dong Ci lowered her head to follow Shi Ze’s eyes. She touched the marked skin, already suspecting what he was about to say. Tentatively, she asked: “Is this related to the tattoo?”
Shi Ze nodded, his eyes that were fixed to the letters were full of complicated emotions. “Any company that is a bit more famous and successful will know who you are when they see this logo.”
His expression transformed into a frown as he thought of something unpleasant. “The fact that he tattooed the logo on your ring finger… People with a few more brain cells can make guesses about your identity and relationship with Jing Rong as soon as they see it. Xiao Ci, he’s trying to control you. He wants to force you to come back to him.”
Zefelina's Translations 
I usually read stories like this but I really found the tattoo disturbing because for me it feels like he is branding her like she is a piece of meat. It kinda fit his character.
I really can’t wait to read this story will go.
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